Dear Jesus, it is Holy Week and I am thankful you died on the cross for me. But I have to say that I really do not want to go there myself. In fact I have arranged my life carefully to lengthen the odds against coming near any crosses. There are locked doors and security codes between me and the rabble. I avoid Judas’ lips by keeping anyone like Judas out of my life. I spend most of my time doing things that earn me the good opinion of others and a nice salary. When all else fails, I make excuses and run away. I am happy to let you do the heavy lifting while I follow at a distance, feeling sad for you and glad it is not me.
I realize that my allergy to crosses is a natural human response to pain. You accepted it, not because you loved pain, but because you love us. You love us like a mother tiger loves her young. And in return I fit you into my busy schedule when it is convenient for me. I spend most of what you give me on myself. I rarely shed a drop of psychic, let alone physical, blood for you. I can talk the talk quite well for public consumption, but you know that the via dolorosa seldom sees my feet.
Lord, I feel you tugging on my life. But I cannot make myself love you more. What I can do is pray. So I pray this: light your flame in me, and by the Spirit’s power, do not let me smother it under a tepid blanket of moderation.
joansgray 
Thank you Joan for the words I feel but cannot utter, let alone write. I pray for the ignition of the Spirit within in me, you and all of God’s children. I wait in my prayer….and attempt to sail!
Oh Joan, your words are how I feel but do not have the nerve to utter. Thank you for saying them for me … and for encouraging me to pray. May God continue to bless you, my dear friend.
Joan: You have expressed my feelings rather well. I too am watching for any crosses that appear in my way. I leave an impression of faithfulness, but know that it is just a cloak around the real me. I pray for the strength to accept those crosses and to be a better disciple as I move through this world. God bless you.
Amen!
Joan, on this Good Friday, thank you for allowing many to sail along with you on the way to true faithfulness and deeper understanding.